Thursday, 15 September 2016

How To Stop Being A Toxic Person

 You know how sometimes you can be a certain way and not realize it until someone or situation brings it to your attention. The first step to solving a problem is acknowledging that there is one.

Be open to criticism and honest thoughts, don't be on the defensive all the time, slow your roll. When you are toxic people don't want to be around you. Maybe because you often attract drama and negative vibes but these things can be turned around. Now that you have acknowledged that there is a problem, here are possible solutions-

1. Be Appreciative
Learn to say thank you. It goes a really long way. No matter how small the gesture is, say thank you and mean it.

2. No Jealousy
You should accept that we all have different destinies. You need to come to terms with the fact that some people will be better than you, better than others. It doesn't make you less of an achiever. You should learn to be happy for others in their time of joy. Jealousy breeds bitterness and hatred, you need to fight it. It's a winnable battle.

3. Stop Comparing Yourself With Others
Again.....people are different. Learn to accept and appreciate that difference and stop comparing your self with others an measuring your success with another persons yardstick. Competition is good when it's healthy that is you should be inspired by the success of another not upset by it.

4. Stop Being So Self Involved
Seriously, the world doesn't revolve around you. Irrespective of what is happening to you and with you, the show must go on. Expecting to always have things your way will lead to personal frustration resulting in you acting out thus giving off toxic vibes. It's not always about you so quit being paranoid and loosen up.

5. Stop The Lies
Don't be a notorious fibber. One lie creates a web of others. Who are you trying to impress, come's not that serious. Are you trying to get others to like you? Are trying to impress them or simply intimidate them? The lies always catch up with you. Truth wins all the time. 

6. Get Off Your High Horse
You are not the epitome of morals and perfection, you need to cut people some slack. Don't expect too much from people and you won't be disappointed.

7. Don't Take Life Too Serious
Putting others down in other to feel good about yourself is a recipe for disaster. Relax, there's no competition. Trust me people don't think or talk about you as much as you think they do. No one is trying to bring you down, no one is after you, stop with all the aggression and hostility. Life is tough for a lot of people, you are not alone in this struggle so find another coping mechanism.....get a healthy hobby.

8. Own Your Mistakes
One of the major characteristics of toxic people is pride. You need to accept the fact that you are only human and prone to slip up every now and then. When you do fuck up, instead of trying to argue your way out of it, simply own it, apologize and move on. Yes it's that easy.

9. Pick Your Battles
Human beings are seriously complicated, life itself can be very complicated and tough. You don't have to get into it with everyone, not every action deserves a response. Avoid fights and confrontations as much as you can. Dialogue is always a winner. Reacting to every negative thing you see or hear will just make you a trouble maker and someone a lot of folks will identify as toxic and want to run away from. So choose your battles wisely darling.

10. Be Nice
Just for the heck of it. You shouldn't expect something in return all the time. Just do it for humanity. Focus on making people happy.

11. Be Diplomatic
Not every eye roll or huff and puff needs to be interpreted. Ignore a lot, apply maturity and wisdom and you will be a lot happier and so will the people around you.

12. Avoid Gossip
My motto is ''what I can't say to your face, I won't say it behind your back''. It's a learning process though. It will take active and conscious practice but you will get a hang of it if you are determined. It takes a lot of wisdom and maturity not to repeat gossip. Why will you want to be caught up in all that he said- she said crap. Flee from it!!!!

13. Mind Your Own Damn Business
If you are not going to change a person's life/situation then why are you poking your nose in their business. 

14. Get Rid Of Toxic People and Habits
It's possible that there are people or habits in your life that are causing you to react the way you are. You need to identify them and cut them out before they drag you down.

15. Don't Dwell In The Past
Holding on to things of the past can cause you to be a bitter and angry person, someone folks will want to stay far away from. Everyone has a past, we have all made mistakes, at some point in our lives we have all done some thing/s we are not proud of. You are not the only one. It may not be easy but you have to let go of the past and move on. Remember, your past should not define you. 

16. Be Sensitive
In other words, quit being selfish. Be considerate to others, be sensitive to their needs, feelings etc. I'm not saying you should let people walk all over you but when you allow yourself to feel some empathy your toxic energy load reduces. 

17. Self Love
Don't just say it, mean it. You can fool others but not yourself. In other to love others and be nice to others you gotta love yourself first. You need to appreciate who you are and how far you have come. You need to accept yourself for who you are without fear of being judged or condemned. Love the heck out of yourself and it will radiate on the outside, people will pick up on that and your toxic energy load will be depleted. But hey, don't become a narcissist.


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